The second dream escaped James entirely, yet he awoke stunned in the aftermath of that stupor. There were unruly emotions stirring in his heart, and he felt like he had to say something, anything to release that winded feeling-- but all he could let out was a gasp. Even then, he could not remember what he saw. He knew it had been greatly immersive, and in retrospection when he awoke he likely still thought he was in that dream. It felt like a tumultuous truth had been revealed to him, and he spent a long time trying to chase down the elusive fragments of that great revelation.
At last, he gave up, having had to get ready for the day. He quickly wrote the following letter to his mother to assuage a portion of his unease:
Yet even as he wrote, he was unsure if the dream had been so terrible. All he could trust was the troubled twisting in his gut. If it had left him so anxious, and so full of anguish, then surely it must've been something dreadful?
It was this yearning to remember, that desire to regain what his mind had lost, that set his resolve to gain understanding and seek clarity. Of the first dream, and of the second that escaped him. Quietly, he designed a plan to sneak into the scholars’ halls and further himself in the ways of writing and of thought.